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very slow site problem

edited July 23 in Theme support
we have been trying to solve a very slow site on a powerfull server with just 1 site on it

Me and another Linux engineer have been reviewing this , and we've found a few different clues as to why performance may not be optimal here. The first is a wordpress plugin that looks to be sending requests to the server every 30 seconds, and we'd like to know if this is expected behaviour:

 [23/Jul/2020:11:03:30 +0100] "GET /wp-content/themes/betheme/style.css HTTP/1.1" 200 229 "" "WordPress/5.4.2;"
[23/Jul/2020:11:03:30 +0100] "GET /wp-content/plugins/amp-blocks/dist/blocks/ HTTP/1.0" 200 25489 "-" "-"
[23/Jul/2020:11:03:30 +0100] "GET /wp-content/plugins/amp-blocks/dist/blocks/ HTTP/1.0" 200 1795 "-" "-"
[23/Jul/2020:11:03:30 +0100] "GET /wp-content/plugins/amp-blocks/dist/blocks/ HTTP/1.0" 200 109 "-" "-"

Next, there is a MySQL query that's running constantly which is using quite a high load:
Query 0 Sending data SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM 3fwp_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (


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